OFFICIAL NEW YEARS RESOLUTIONS!

It wouldn't be a blog if there wasn't a lame "New Years Resolutions" blog post. I am sure 90% of the things on this list will be things that are on 80% of America's list, but I guess they are popular subjects.

1) Turn my shape from this:



To this:


2) More avoidance of this:


3) This at least 3 times a week:


4) This 60+ hours a week (Studying):


5)Saying I am, and being, thankful for this:


AND Making more time for this:




6) Remembering to do this to avoid over-stress:



I think that about sums it up:)

Blessed be to Holidays

I woke up this morning and the first thing that popped in to my head was "So... Ill start studying in an hour and then hopefully I can... uh wait I AM DONE." I literally laughed out loud and kicked my legs like a giddy school girl. I am done diggity done done done with my first semester of law school.

So, here are the official Yays and Nays of my first semester of law school:

NAYS
1) Gaining approximately 1 million pounds.
2) Civil Procedure. All of it.
3) No job which equals no money.
4) Sleep deprivation.
5) Alcoholism.

YAYS
1) The AMAZING group of friends I found up here. God bless 'em.
2) Dexter Study Sessions.
3) Feeling mentally stimulated. School = hard.
4) Rock climbing.
5) Alcoholism.


I am excited for holiday celebrations and a general break for school. My brain, eyes and body need a rest from all the stress. AND Monday, it is back to Burque! Facebook chat is being "special" so here are a couple pics from the last few days of celebration.


Secret Santa Gift Exchange! Complete with wine, cheese, gifts, and stockings :)


My love Darren got me a wine and restaurant tour with him for X-mas. A+ Gift choice.


The best law school crew money can buy. And I got them all for free. Love my life.



Our "Believe" Santa shirts. We wore them for every single final. :)

Down-Hill Slope

Yippeeeee Skippy!
3 finals done, 2 more to go.

I will have my face in a lovely Civil Procedure book for the the next 48 hours straight. Civil Procedure, as you all may know, is officially my LEAST favorite subject thus far. All the hoopla over where you can sue someone, when, and boring boring lame dumb. Granted it is only 2 credits, SO I guess I picked a good class to hate and completely fuck up.

Also - for those of you who care, I will be starting another blog as a co-operative effort with a couple other law students discussing the adventures of bus system (RTD) here in Colorado. Oh you may think this will be boring... but I you would not BELIEVE the things that happen while riding a bus.

Til' then back to Civil Procedure.

Stupid big fat red casebooks....

Contracts

In less than 24 hours I will be taking a 4 hour Contracts exam.

This is going to be an issue spotting shit show.

I am trying to figure out how I should spend this final day before the pain and suffering of Finals is is full blow. This morning I woke up at 7am to make sure I am tired early tonight, so I can go to bed early and be ready for a 8am exam.

So what do I focus on?

Practice Problems?
Review Notes?
Adding Bonus stuff to my outline?
Organizing?
Crying and or Drinking?

I think I will get some tea and try to focus..... and just breathe.


**Me and my lovely contracts book. We are obviously besties**

I am Thankful for...

Family

New Friends

Old Friends

Best Friends

Musical Therapy

Wine

Loan Money

Being Alive

Coffee

Cheese

Feeling Blessed

You

Home

Home home home home home!!!!!

I actually can not contain my excitement to be back in New Mexico (even if it is only for 5 days.)

It is a weird feeling to want to leave a place so incredibly bad, but then when the opportunity arises to return, the "shit your pants" happiness combined with the "I can't sleep" excitement is slightly unexpected, but welcome.

Even though a hefty part of my days will be spent outlining, reading, and trying to learn the inner workings of Contract law, I will be able to enjoy a little piece of home.

Joy to my life!

Climbing & Dance

I am certifiably insane.

I really needed to find something that would help bring me back to being a regular person. The amount of stress I have been enduring recently has made me fat, tired and useless. Besides the fact that I need about 9 treatments of liposuction, I am trying to handle the situation the best way I can without letting school work suffer or deleting my personal life.

I have discovered two activities to hopefully solve all of my problems. Lose weight, decrease stress, and just letting my mind NOT think about law school for more than 10 minutes at a time.

Oh dance, I have missed you so.

I have been going to hip hop, african and jazz at the Streetside Dance studio and LOVING it. It seems like it has been forever since I have taken dance classes, but luckily I found a fellow law student that is appreciating the release the dance often brings.

More importantly, I have discovered a love for top-rope climbing and bouldering. The pain in my fingers, arms, back and legs seems to provide a full body workout while remaining oh so fun.

I have been going here and yes I climbed up that huge mutha truckin wall:



I will be getting my own harness and climbing shoes sometime next week.

I really needed an active outlet. It seems like the past weeks have been pretty monotonous.

Homework, class, study, class, homework, read, read, read, class, homework, study, get trashed Friday night, repeat.

Hopefully my new activities will keep me out of the nut house and in to my old jeans.

Here's to hoping.

Faking Happiness Counts.

I couldn't be happier
No, I couldn't be happier
Though it is, I admit
The tiniest bit
Unlike I anticipated...

But I couldn't be happier
Simply couldn't be happier
(Well - not "simply")
'Cause getting your dreams
It's strange, but it seems
A little - well - complicated.

There's a kind of a sort of...cost
There's a couple of things get...lost
There are bridges you cross
You didn't know you crossed
Until you've crossed.

And if that joy, that thrill
Doesn't thrill you like you think it will
Still -
With this perfect finale
The cheers and ballyhoo
Who wouldn't be happier?
So I couldn't be happier
Because happy is what happens
When all your dreams come true
Well, isn't it?
Happy is what happens
When your dreams come true.

Recent Events:

Law School BLOOOOOOOOOOOOWS. I am so sick of homework.

Thank he baby Jesus that midterms are over. I nearly had a heart attack.

SO recent life events:
1) Some fuck took my camera. That means I will no longer be the photographer for random outings and events and my Facebook photo albums will go unloved until it can be replaced. I might just charge it on a credit card to buy a new one because I really miss being able to document life. I keep hoping it will turn up... but it is looking less and less likely that I will find it.

2) Halloween was fantastic. We had the most outrageous costumes. I was Miss Cleo, from those old psychic reading infomercials in the middle of the night. Friends were (from left to right) Strawberry Shortcake, Me, Lumberjack, Fall, Ryan was a miniature knight,Count Chocula, Dinosaur, and Mummy. For Christmas we are all going to dress up and have a slutty nativity scene party. That should be fan-freaking-tastic.



3) I WENT TO SEE WICKED. It was so fabulous. I loved every minute of it. I can't wait until Spring Awakening in December. The ticket prices are a bit painful, but it's worth it.

4) I go back to Albuquerque in 12 days. I AM SO FREAKING EXCITED.

5) New addition to my life is a love for rock climbing. Ryan and I are joining a rock climbing gym and I am so excited. I never thought it would be this much fun. I went Bouldering for the first time which is scary as balls. It is like rock climbing, except you don't use ropes and you don't go as high. The no rope thing freaks me out, and people just jump off once they get to the top. These people are not human and have been bred with monkey/alien powers.

Also, if you haven't noticed I changed the blog name. I figured the other one could be considered offensive to some and I wanted to avoid that... so i picked something slightly less offensive: Legally Black, as in Legally Blonde with more negro-ness added to the pot.

Life is going better than 2 weeks ago, except for the fact that bad things keep happening to me. I just feel better about life and less like I am seconds away from a mental/emotional/life breakdown. I am trying to remember to take each day as it comes and to stop thinking about the burden in its entirety.

Law students/Lawyers have the highest rankings in statistics for suicide, alcoholism and general substance abuse. After the last month it all makes sense now. This shit is hard.

But, as the Beatles sang, "I'll get by with a little help from my friends."

<3

.
Catch me I'm falling
Catch me I'm falling
Faster than anyone should

Catch me I'm falling
Please hear me calling
Catch me I'm falling for good.

Catch me I'm falling
Losing myself in the air.
Catch me I'm Falling
Don't leave me crawling
Catch me and show me you care

Catch me I'm falling
Catch me I'm falling
Flying head first into fate
Catch me I'm falling
Please hear me calling
Catch me before it's too late
.

Failure to Concentrate

I feel feisty.

I have been getting myself caught up in political and religious discussion that will have no high end point. I feel as if I am discussing these matters with a puppy. I talk about reasoning, thoughts, facts, and attempt to have a heartfelt, intelligent conversation on the matter but when the opposite party responds I get the same "bark" over and over and over again.

Just "you're wrong" and "the truth is the only way".

I actually feel bad. It amazes me that people find it so difficult to discuss matters of this nature like responsible adults.

But, through all of this, I have gained further respect and understanding for those with strong faith in religion and are able to have intelligent conversations with the ability to understand other points of view. One of my best friends is a member of the Latter Day Saint (Mormon) faith and I am completely comfortable discussing the trials of religion through time with her. I invite her to understand my position and she does the same. There is a mutual respect for each other and I appreciate that so much.

Come to think of it, it is usually the Evangelical's that use their "Jesus Camp", close minded, naive arguments in order to prove their point. I wonder what percentage of atheists who randomly "see the light" when all they are being given is a reminder they will burn in hell.

I have also come to the conclusion on why so many people feel compelled to be saved by baby Jesus. It is the method of praying on the weak. Children, diseased, substance-abuse addicts etc. The vulnerable are who get captured in this nonsense. That makes it even more inconscionable. At least the LDS don't discriminate to whom they proselytize to.

To sum up, all of this debating is making it difficult for me to concentrate on what I need to be concentrating on. School, healthy, responsibilities. Law school is eating my soul and right now I am letting it.

For the next few days I will be focused, concentrate on what is necessary, and get ahead on my studies. Property midterm. Yuck,

On the brightside, I think I have reached a new level of excitement about this upcoming weekend. Look what I did to my planner on Friday during class.

*Excited much? Yes and yes*

Joys of Law School

So I have officially been a Law Student for over a month. There are a lot of things that take a while to get used to but I am starting to feel comfortable in some areas.

I have found an excellent group of friends up yonder who are as quirky, inappropriate and outgoing as I am. We have already created a variety of mischievous activities (locker climbing, parkour, inappropriate dance-a-thons) and it is making the heavy load of law school much more tolerable.

Also, unexpectedly, I have grown quite fond of Contract law. Who knew? It might be that the professor is making a seemingly dull subject extraordinarily amusing, but I think that it is genuinely appealing as a possible future job. I still think that I will try my had at something with more litigation because court room scenes might be the closest I get to acting in a long time.

Speaking of acting, I am having "Burst-In-To-Random-Musical-Sing-A-Thon" withdraws. Approximately .4% of the people up here know musical theatre and that generally includes the knowledge of RENT, Phantom and Cats. I'm dying here. Luckily I am going to see Wicked this month in Denver!

** Well, 3 days until it opens, I am not going til mid October**

On another happy note, I am super happy that Ryan has been by my side for this whole move, law school, life changing transition. It has made the whole process 100% easier. Our anniversary celebration was a blast and just reminded me of how lucky I am to have such an excellent boyfriend. He got me this wonderful gem:

**Magenta French Press! FTW!**

To sum up: I am feeling better about my decision to take out jillions of dollars to move to another state to put myself through the biggest mind fuck of a school trip I have ever been on. It's a challenge, but it isn't impossible!

Colorado v. New Mexico

Here are a couple things I have noticed during my time in Colorado thus far. Sorry - I don't really have time for a full blown update, but I will soon.

New Mexico vs. Colorado

1. For every menu in New Mexico that has the word "Green Chile" the Coloradans have removed it and inserted either "BBQ sauce" or "Jalapeno"

2. While on the subject of green chile, if you can find it here, all of the supposed "hot" chile is something so insipid you could feed it to a infant.

3. For every Hispanic/Mexican person you see in New Mexico, there are about 3 Asians here. SO the Demographics of Boulder: 95% White and Rich, 4% Asian and Rich, 1% Black, Native American, Hispanic etc and NOT rich.

4. For every local micro brewery you see in New Mexico there are approximately 5 here. And they are all FREAKING DELICIOUS.

5. Boulder/Denver theatre scene = win win win

7. I think I have seen a total of 3 people who are considered "overweight" in Boulder. And it was one family walking outside of the only McDonalds in town. So as expected, I feel like someone you would see on Maury when it comes to weight.

8. There must have been a mandatory "Hotness Test" in order to be allowed to run on campus. This test was probably taken after the "Muscle Mass" test and the "Tan-o-Meter" test.

9. Coffee, Chai, Tea (iced and hot) are all 100% better in Colorado

10. To register your car in Boulder Country, you must get a VIN Verification number, a full emissions test, and pay the largest car registration fee ever. It also depends on your car size. For me it was $200 and my car is TINY

11. On the bright side, it was $16 to get my Driver's License.

12. Sales tax, cost of food, and cost of alcohol is way higher in Colorado.

13. EVERYONE has snow tires, and at least one bike/ski rack on their car. Most have two.

14. You can't buy liquor or wine in grocery stores in Colorado. The only thing you can get is 3.2 beer (sissy beer with alcohol taken out of it so it isn't so strong)

15. The mountains are to the west... not the east. This makes me confused on a daily basis.


Overall, I really like it here. I just wish I had more time explore/have fun. Law School is a beast.

Sacrafice

There is one thing I have learned and come to appreciate over the last week here. The ability and willingness for friends to sacrifice for one another.

I have been trying to see and hang out with everyone I know before I leave and it has been difficult to arrange my schedule in such a way that I can meet with several people a day. Granted I am squeezing in second lunch dates and drinks after dinner and practically spending 90% of my time in a restaurant ,but I also realize the I wont see these people for a long time. If that means spending an unfathomable amount of money on eating out this last week, so be it :)

Another example that made me super happy was April's schedule and how she squeezed in time for me and Amanda the last 2 days. She gets up at 5 am every morning, works all day, has 4-5 hours of rehearsal and then came out to karaoke on Tuesday night. Not only that, but she came out til 1:00am last night for Amanda's birthday. I am sure she will be living on coffee/energy drinks today, but I also appreciate her sacrificing a couple hours of sleep for our sake.

The same goes to Jess. If I remember correctly she hates the idea of downtown and "clubbing" more than a root canal without Novocain. And even though she worked at 8 this morning, she was in Sauce dancing her heart away.

This goes out to anyone and everyone that has rearranged their schedules, sleeping patterns, life in order to see me or Ryan during this last week. Just want to say I noticed, and I really appreciated it.

And to Amanda: HAPPY 21st BIRTHDAY!

1 Week

One Week until I am driving up to Colorado to start the life of a Law School Student.

I am getting EXTREMELY excited about the move. I am feeling quite ready to get away from the various things in New Mexico that have been causing me stress recently.

Packing is starting to be an adventure where I can count down the days until I am headed up to the new exciting life that is waiting for me. I see a healthier, more responsible, more organized me that is just ready to burst out as soon as I pass the state line.

Of course, along with all the excitement lies the sadness for leaving the small part of New Mexico that I still appreciate. I will have to make some new friends, deal with the ridiculous amounts of snow, and get used to a "small town" environment again. Not to mention the fact that this will be the first time I will be away from my Mom.

I will miss all of my friends and the random shenanigans we would conjure up. Wine nights, park play dates, Latter Day Saint parodies like Orgazmo, forts, board games and so on and so forth.

The original Team Awesome crew are some of the best friends I could have ever asked for and even though we don't hang out in one large mass for 23 out of the 24 hours in a day, I still feel that connection and friendship.

Luckily with the power of email, facebook, snail mail and texting I will keep in touch the best that I can.

Update (Correction)

So I find it slightly hilarious that I happened to write that blog yesterday. Apparently I was one day early.

Last night after work I got in my car, drove home, and had sob-a-thon status break down. I endured a complete freak out about moving. I guess when talking to a close friend, I used the term "phased out" in describing my friendship. I am sure I was over reacting.

(Luckily Michael came over and cheered me up)

I just think it is unfortunate that I am working so much. And on top of that, every time any group of my friends get together, I am playing the slave-labor game.

I guess it is just a taste of the future. If I miss people as much as I do while I am in New Mexico, I am sure it will get worse when I move to Colorado.

Workity Work

I'm at work not working. What a surprise there.

I am actually slightly excited for work tonight though. I get to go in at 4pm (earlier) which means I get a short break, but I get off early. 100% worth it.

The super conservative lawyer of the office gave me a box of fancy pens so I can hate on for a least a week.

BUT to imporatant stuff:

I gave my 30 days move out notice thinggy to my landlord and I have no idea where I am moving. That is always a comforting feeling. We are going up to Boulder July 12th through July 16th to look at places, decide and sign a lease. August 8th we move on up.

Stupid manditory 1L's oreientation starts August 17th and then school starts the following week. I am already looking at plane prices for coming back to visit. Trying to find the deals!

I am pretty calm about the whole thing right now. I haven't given much thought to the fact that I am leaving EVERYTHING I know behind to be in a Land O' New. Hopefully having completely new surroundings and school can help me stick to a healthier lifestytle of biking, hiking and rock climbing. The school has all the cool sporty stuff that UNM has (Racketball, pools, etc) but it also has an indoor track, jacuizi, and a climbing gym. That's going to be pretty awesome.

Until the big move I plan on working 60+ hours week, spending time with friends/family and enjoying New Mexico :)

Thumbs Up & Thumbs Down

Good afternoon Ladies and Gents... Here are my Thumbs Up/Thumbs Down of the week:


Thumbs Up:
1. Coffee/Caffeine
2. So You Think You Can Dance
3. Pride 2009
4. Ryan
5. Plane Tickets to Denver/Boulder
6. Melting Pot's Free Cheese Fondu Day (Sunday)
7. Coupon for Express
8. Making Money
9. Toast
10. New bras that fit my stupid large boobs

Thumbs Down:
1. Working 55 hours this week
2. Sleep deprivation
3. Real Housewives of New Jersey
4. House Hunting
5. Realizing if I get any more boob fat I'll be a 33DDD (non-existent bra size)
6. Drunk old men
7. Laundry
8. Taking out 50 Grand in student loans
9. Bacon
10. Being jealous of the anorexics on the documentary I watched.

Taking Another Step

I just thought you all should know this :)

Joy Joy Joy

Obama White House Names June "Pride Month"

3 AM

Tried to go to bed and failed. I don't know if I can't sleep or just won't sleep.

My brain is going 900 miles an hour over thinking as many situations as I can.

Overall, I just feel alone. Even though I am physically moving to Boulder (therefore technically leaving things/people behind), I feel like emotionally and mentally I have already been left out of the loop and in the dust.

I don't know the validity of any of that. But if it is true, I wish people would tell me why.

Also I saw a Post Secret that was fitting today (as dumb as it is):

California... What the hell?

There are quite a few things I would like to say to a variety of people, but because I am a sissy I will probably avoid saying most of it. I am sure some of it needs to be said, but most of it is just drama causing nonsense that I can't seem to purge from my brain. And if it doesn't fall in the previous two categories, I know that it is categorzed under "minor-temporary beliefs" that will go away within a week or two anyway.

I will say the following:

California is pissing me off. I can't believe such a liberal minded state keeps taking steps back when it comes to homosexual rights. Thank god that they aren't being inconsiderate enough to revoke the 18,000 marriages that we made before the Supreme Court ruling.

(Read the story here: http://www.nytimes.com/2009/05/27/us/27marriage.html)

I have never held so much anger towards one organization. I would rather join the NRA and keep a sawed-off shotgun in my truck then support a group such as the "Protect Marriage" people.

(Vomit on this webpage: http://protectmarriage.com/)

They have this obnoxiously biased, rude, and inconceivably close-minded story on their site discussing the threat of "Gay-marriages in Public Schools." I am sure that screaming obscenities at my laptop did not help the situation, but I can't believe that people like this are allowed to live in America let alone breed other douche-bag waste of space children to carry their legacy of intolerance.

And on this subject, I can say one of the many things that I am sure will start an argument. There are a few people that posted comments on Nate's note on Facebook (Read it: I'm Nate, I'm Gay, and I'm Proud) that are hypocritical selfish and frankly I just want to punch them in the face. Do not, and I repeat DO NOT say you are supportive of someone and their lifestyle if you would vote against them in a heartbeat when it comes to their ability to love, marry, and create a family with the one they care for.

I don't care if you spend 20 hours out of the day talking to your beloved Jesus but keep him, and any other religious shenannigans out of court rulings and cases that have the ability to hinder another individuals quality of life. This isn't just for Christianity either. For ANY religious laws and doctrine that others may not follow or believe.

How would you feel if we adopted Jainism's rules and regulations which required the United States to be Vegan? I am sure you would raise hell if that happened. Or what if we adopted the Mormon's and the Muslim's policy on no alocholic beverages. Tell that to Billy Bob Joe sitting on his porch drinking a case of Bud light screaming about how the "Homo's" are ruining what America stands for.

If you don't believe in gay marriage don't get one. Grow up. Gain some tolereance. Or shut the fuck up.

A Racist Black-a-Jew

Yup - that's me. A Racist Black-a-Jew

(WARNING: The content following this disclaimer may be considered offensive.)


I hate Persians.

Ok, let me rephrase this, I "strongly dislike" Persians who are affiliated in any way to Pars Cuisine (working, managing, dining in etc.)

Why?

1) They are needy needy people. They have you running around the restaurant getting butt loads of butter, bread, raw onions and sumac for their eating pleasure with out saying "please" or "thank you."

2) They drink doogh. Doogh is this nasty ass yogurt drink that smells like an aquarium with rotten milk. It's yogurt, pepper, salt, random spices and occasionaly mint. It's salty and milky and the most UN-refreshing thing you could possibly consume.

3) Pars gives them "special treatment". If you are Persian you get free bread, extra rice, and your sides for free. Not to mention all the raw onion sprinkled with parsley they can handle. I dont remember going to an Italian restaurant where the Italians get extra pasta and free shit. I am pretty sure all the Hispanics and Mexicans that go to the New Mexican restaurants don't get bonus sopapillas and spanish rice for free. Annoying.

4) They can't just order from the god damn menu. They just tell you what they want and then you have to go in to the computer and create what meal they ordered. Various extras and sides and blah blah blah. I assume they are trying to make authentic Persian meals... but seriously.

5) Finnally. The thing that pisses me off the most. THEY ARE THE SHITTIEST TIPPERS EVER. I thought that the Native American population had the gold medal in Under Tipping, but the Persian folks have them beat. No matter how high the bill is, they won't tip more than 10 dollars. Last night I had a 6-top that racked up a tab higher thant $120 bucks. I got a wopping 9 dollars. NINE DOLLARS. I got six verbal thank you's, one guy hitting on me, and nine fucking dollars.
Two days ago I had a 3-top that even told the owner that I was a great server. And they left me 5 dollars on 74 dollar tab.


That is why I can't stand Persians. This is the most frustrating restaurant job that I have ever had. Ugh....

Decisions Decisions.

I got in to Colorado University's Law School!

I really didn't expect to get in to that school, and now that I have been accepted I don't know what to do. CU has an EXCELLENT law school with lots of great possibilities, but am I ready to move away from Albuquerque?

It is difficult to imagine moving to a city where I will know nobody. I am a social person who really love to spend time with my friends and family and thought of having to build from the ground up in a new city (in a new STATE) terrifies me.

Not to mention that CU's tuition is imaginable in comparison to UNM's law school, Colorado's cost of living is much more expensive, and it has a shit ton more snow. Ew.

I have no idea what to do. I don't want to be the decider anymore.

I dreamed this dream...

I had this dream last night... weirdest dream in the history of my life, and most of the people who read this were in it.

So, I am at my friend Hannah's baby shower and she doesn't look very happy with it. Her dad bought her a huge giant rock of a ring as a gift which seemed to cheer her up. We were playing baby shower games when I met some boy who was one of Hannah's distant cousins. He was super attractive so I was talking to him at the party. He suggested that we "go up to my place" instead of sticking around for the rest of the baby shower. I told him that I had a boyfriend and he said that he would be up for a threesome. So I said "ok" and off we went.

After the deed was done I left and met up with Jessica, Gilbert, Leonard, Nate, and AJ Rome (why? no clue) at a bar. We were drinking cosmopolitans and munching on nachos (it was pretty awesome, because Nate and Gilbert were 21!) when I got a call on my cellphone from that boy I met at the bridal shower. When I answered it though, it was his boyfriend. And he was pissed. He was involving the cops in an investigation because the boy was only 16 years old and he said that it was statutory rape.

I freaked out so we left the bar. Jessica and I were driving her bright red Jeep (*shrug*) and decided to run away. We bought this small apartment somewhere downtown New York. When we got there we realized it needed some fixing up so were were putting putty on the walls. Jessica realized she forgot her wallet at the store so she got mad and kicked a hole through the wall. I told her that the hole she kicked in the wall was a good idea because now we can have a fire place.

Gilbert showed up after he got off work (as a chip n' dale dancer I assume from what he was wearing) and brought us wine coolers and a fruit baskets as a welcome gift. Then he started crying because he was sad that Jessica was turning in to a lesbian to be with me. We tried to explain that we weren't lesbians but we were just roommates but he thought that if you lived together that you were dating.

After he stopped crying we left to go try and find Jessica's wallet but for some reason Jessica and I were holding hands. As friends.

Then I woke up.

I would like to submit that to a dream interpreter because its the weirdest dream ever.

You You You

Nothing much has changed since the last time I blogged, so I was trying to spare you all from hearing the same BS.


Working at Pars still... and currently trying to find another job. Everyone there (except for maybe 2 or 3 people) are weird, and very boring to talk to. The owner is a micro-managing drama queen that throws a fit when the smallest thing goes wrong. Luckily I haven't felt that wrath yet, but I really don't want to be around long enough to see it.

3-Hour diet failed. I have no self control when it comes to food anymore.

Brain is still on wacko mode, but now for more reasons then initially mentioned. I constantly feel like I am pissing people off, or offending people.. specifically my closest friends. I hope that if I am doing something to anger them, they would tell me so I can stop.
Jess' cabaret is making me feel like a sp-ed kid. I feel like I am behind on learning my harmony and that I get a fail minus in solo.
Good thing I picked law school over musical theatre.
But I am having fun - the difficult music makes me have to work harder :)

Relay for Life 2007, Right after Midnight

Relay for Life is this Friday night. I have participated for the last 5 years and I am excited to be participating this year. Walk for the Cure! Pet Storm is April 23rd and Spring Storm is April 25th (bright and early). I miss doing as much community service as I did before I graduated... SO I am trying to get back in the good habit.

Spring Storm 2008, Helping with breakfast

Pars and Stuff

YAY - I am now officially working at Pars. We will see how it goes. I am excited to be making money again... and to be busier... I hope this job keeps me busy enough. If I don't have enough to do then I get super lazy and I hate it.

I think I am the only one who blogs regularly anymore. Well Michele does... but I look at everyone else's bloggy thinggy and I see no recent updates. Busy I assume.

This week I have:
Birthday Dinner with Ryan
Birthday Drinks and such with Beth and Aaron
Birthday Party on Friday night
4 shifts of Training for Pars
and the SUPER scary Audition for Full Monty on Saturday.... super duper scary. I need to talk to Jess about what on earth I should sing for that.

My brain is on wacko mode. And I can't really explain it without having too many people ask questions and/or ruining some things. Ugh. I should sort that out.

On the BRIGHT side - I have officially started the 3 hour diet today. Its what I did freshman year of college that worked SO well... so hopefully it will work again.

Okey dokey. END

Jobless... Blows

Ok, I have had "almost" jobs around 3 times now. Hopefully Pars works out. I thought I was supposed to take a menu test today, but when I called this morning the head hancho wasn't there. AND wasn't coming in today. So I don't know when I am supposed to be taking care of that nonsense.

I am bored out of my mind. I am sick of cleaning. I want to be working and making money. I swear as soon as I get this job thing all worked out, I plan on working 50 hours a week for 3 weeks straight. Ahhhh... that would be so nice.

I have really enjoyed hanging out with people more and having some free time on my hands, but its making it impossible for me to make a schedule. Creating a food, exercise and sleep schedule is practically impossible. I feel useless and lazy and like I am getting nothing done... ever.
It sounds weird, but it is easier for me to fit in exercise everyday as long as I have a bunch of other stuff to do.

Ugh... this is annoying, I am annoyed... this totally sucks my ass.

Guess it is my turn.

Recently I have been complaining to my friends for taking eons to update their blogs, and I haven't written much lately either. Tisk tisk.

I guess this will be an overview of the last hectic week of my life.

1) Greek Row Tragedy opened last night at the Rodey Theater. I am having so much fun with this show. Granted there are the few individuals that are proving to be bigger wastes of space then I initially thought, but I refuse to let it affect the time I have enjoyed working with Paul, and other members of the cast. It was great to see friends come see the show last night, but it was more than frustrating to recieve a "side pat" hug, an uninterested "good job" followed by a quick departure from some of them. It really is sad to see people "try" like that.

2) I quit my job at Hell-Hole Law Offices last Friday. I know I should have been more responsible with the situation and made sure I had a job before I quit, but I couldn't handle her rude, irresponsible, demeaning attitude any longer. That woman is the closest reincarnation of a demon that I have ever experienced. I would rather take out a loan, if need be, then endure the anxiety, stress and depressive nature that law office put on me. It is nice to be free. On the downside I don't have a new job yet. I have put in many applications and I have some interviews next week, but nothing official yet. I am getting bored out of my mind. I can't stand not having a job. How do people do it?

3) After nearly ruining CJ's adolecents, and two people tagging me as "The One Who Always Cusses" in those stupid little Facebook things, I have realized that it is time to clean up the potty mouth a bit. If I am being recognized as the person who cusses the most, that is bad news. I don't want to be that person, so I am going to try and use those words minimally. And if I hear the response of "But that's what makes you Dea" that is just going to make me want to work harder to avoid it. I don't want to be known as the person with the most inappropriate vocabulary.

4) If I have one more dream abot Starnes I am going to have to kill him. I have had 3 completely unrelated dreams about him in the past month. AND I HAVE NO IDEA WHY.

5) Where do I get a personal trainer that isn't going to cost me 98475 dollars a month. Because I need to get my chunky ass in to gear and what ever motivations I had are slipping away. I REALLY want to go to a "Fat Camp". Mostly because there is a large focus on exercise and there is no "bad" things I could eat even if I wanted to. Or... there still is liposuction. Maybe I will win the lottery.


All of my posts are so disjointed and ramble on for hours... One day I will have a clear cohearant thought that I can type for you all :)

For now, ON GREEK ROW! MU NUDE DELTA FOREVER!

Title of Show Says It Best...

SUSAN
No, Heidi, I'm bummed we only have four more of these.
I like doing the show. It balances out my day job which is killing me softly.
I wrote this song sitting at my desk today...I'd like to sing it...for you now...

(sung)
Can't you see that I'm dying inside?
Can't you see that I'm dying inside?
If you shined a flashlight in my butt you'd see
I'm dying inside




...true dat is.

But on the bright side... IT'S ALMOST WEEKEND!
Granted I have approximately a billion years of tech this weekend, BUT I also have some party-time to look forward to, a audition, and I am going to The Civil War tonight.

Joy joy joy!

On Greek Row!

Final dress rehearsal for Greek Row Tragedy is in T-minus one week. We open a week from THURSDAY!

It is slightly unsettling because for all of the dance that is in this show, we haven't tried dancing any of it in costume. We are going to have vaginas, titties, and muffin tops everywhere. Not to mention we still haven't tried dancing in the shoes.

I guess they haven't come in yet.

Certain members of the cast are frustrating the bejesus out of me. Whiny, complain-y, annoying brats. Suck it up folks. We are all tired, we all don't feel good, we are all hungry and lazy and ready to go home. But we aren't going home.... so shut your pie holes.

I am pretty excited for the rehearsal process to end and the show to begin.

I am also excited about:
1) Job hunting
2) Ditching work for lunch tomorrow
3) 2pm today (Cus then I will be off work!)


Have a sexcellent day!

Not much to say but...

I just wanted to preach to the choir and show you this great picture I found.


I can't seem to wrap my head around the notion that a child being raised by two women or two men could do more harm then the child being raised in foster care or at an orphanage. This has nothing to do with religion, faith, God or any other unreasonable claim; it is about the child. And as long as the child hasn't been brainwashed like the kids from Jesus camp, I think any kid would prefer to be in a home with two parents that love and care for them, then grow up with 90 other kids or homeless.

I'm just sayin'....

Office Orchestra

The "music" that ripples through my brain while I sit at my desk could pluck the spines off a porcupine.

The fax machine slowly spits out paper after paper of boring information.
I can faintly hear the back printer printing up a storm, copy after copy of something that will most likely end up in recycling. That thing tears through reams of paper like it will get a prize for all its hard work.
The front printer beside me just wound itself up but didn't print anything. I wonder if that thing does it only for the attention.

I hear David talking in the distance about some useless sports team and the achievements over the past three years. The attorney he is talking to hasn't said much so I am assuming David is bothering the living shit out of him.

Steve likes to squeak his his chair slowly when he is reading. It reassembles nails on a chalk board .
It's almost as annoying as the sound of Nate's shoes.

Every 5-10 seconds I hear the annoying "ding" that signifies a new email has plopped into my inbox. Something that isn't for me to read, but for me to copy and distribute usually.

In other news, I just ate the best microwavable meal ever.

Bad Week to Exciting Weekend!

Wow,

What a craptastic week. I will give myself a paragraph to complain and then no mas.
Work sucked dick. The office manager continues to be frustrated with me and the legal assistants, expecting a miracle to happen and for us to be able to do 6 peoples work in the same amount of time when there is only 3. Also rehearsal is quite draining and I am completely exhausted this week. In order to make it though all this busy month ahead I need to remember to relax, get sleep, eat healthy and exercise. :)

Brightside of life, I have lost 3 lbs, not that much, but it is something. My lovely boyfriend is quite supportive. He is making me lots of healthy meals even though I would rather eat fatty fat stuff. And props to Leo for dragging my ass to the gym. I need to go in the morning more often because then I can't avoid it and I am not completely out of energy.

I am looking for a super-part time weekend job. Like lunches on Saturday and Sunday at some brunch spot. I am not having much luck because most places want you to be available during the week too.

YAY for weekend! I want to go on a bike ride this weekend, hopefully it will be warm-ish.

Cus Jess said so.

Therefore I update. Jess decided it was time :)

For this update I think its important to do the 10 for 10. Cus that what I feel like.

10 Yeas:
1) Going to the gym after work. YAY. I have new music on my iPod and I am ready to run
2) Ain't Misbehavin' at Popejoy. I am really excited to see that show.
3) T-minus 1 hour and30 minutes until I am off work, and one day closer to weekend
4) I went to sushi for lunch by myself and really enjoyed it. The nice sushi dude even hooked it up with a lobster scallops roll, a bowl of miso soup and some oranges for dessert.
5) Tomorrow is Musical Theater!! And I will fix the catastrophe that I created for Broadway Rhythm
6) I have almost been 100% productive at work today. Very little messing around on the internet. Just a couple facebook posts and this here blog.
7) Ryan was so freaking cute this morning. It made me happy.
8) Foot feels slightly better. Which means maybe it will heal all by itself! YES
9) I decided Leo was going to teach me how to make my blog prettier - and that is quite a Yea
10) I watched the whole Superbowl (practically) yesterday. This is an amazing feat. I am proud of myself.
**Bonus Yea** I learned a new word thanks to my Urban Dictonary Day-by-Day Calendar.
Fire Hazard - A mand who is utterly in denial of his homosecuality (in the closet) despite the fact that he is clearly gay to the objective observer (flaming).
example: Hey, Mike, Jessica's fire hazard of a husband was checking out your ass again.



10 Boos:
1) Boo to Christina the office manager. She is giving me IMPOSSIBLE tasks and expecting them done by the end of the day. Has she lost it completely?
2) Boo to the cheating douche Stealers. I don't even care about football and I could tell they were tools.
3) Stupid Wednesday is the day I have to get my picture taken in a flipping swimsuit/lingerie combo for Greek Row. I am overjoyed.
4) Super Boo to friends that fail at being friends.
5) Now I am really full and would like to take a nap.
6) I am 99% sure that I will be getting minimal sleep tonight, which might make me a ragin biotch tomorrow.
7) Evil Boss hasn't left yet so I can't jam out to Pandora. Obvious Boo.
8) Boo to not being able to loose weight hella fast. I think I am going to get that Alli bullshit that makes you crap red oil or something weird like that.
9) I love cats, I really do. BUT we are babysitting Ryan's Dad's cat while he is in Mexico and that cat will not shut up. Then tries to play with your face all night. Ugh.
10) I need money... bad bad bad bad bad. I am tempted to take the insurence money I got for the douche hitting my car and use it for other crap.


There she blows. Yeas and Boos!

Now back to slavey labor.

Today

I am in a horrible mood.

Today sucks.

I could explain in a long-winded run on sentence of a post.

But instead, I am choosing to let it annoy me all day long.

Amused

USE THE 1ST LETTER OF YOUR NAME TO ANSWER EACH OF THE FOLLOWING QUESTIONS. THEY HAVE TO BE REAL PLACES, NAMES,THINGS.NOTHING MADE UP!


1. What is your name: Shandea/ Dea

2. A 4 Letter Word: Shoe / Dong

3. A Boys Name: Sean / Dennis

4. A Girls Name: Skank / Debra

5. An Occupation: Sex Therapist / Door Man

6. A Color: Salmon / Drab

7. Something you wear: Slip / Derby Hat

8. A Beverage: Slippery Nipple/ Diet Coke

9. A Food: Splenda (sorta) / Daikon

10. Something found in the bathroom: Shampoo / Drain

11. A place: Seoul / Dakar

12. A Reason for being late: Sucking Dick (Wooo hoo the "S" and the "D")

13. Something you shout: Sweet! / Douche!



I decided that during my lunch pause (hardly a break) I would screw around on the internet. The Queen Bitch left already so whats the point of trying to accomplish the list of death I was given. I will start hacking away at it after lunch. Joy.

I am currently addicted to Mika. "Sucking to hard on your lollipop ah love's gonna get you down"
He is great. I am hoping that they have him for karaoke.

I just realized how boring I am in blogs. If anyone read this that didn't know me, they would think that I am a boring 17 year old wacko that talks about dicks and dongs a lot.

I want shrimp... shrimp scampi sounds REALLY good.... oooooh LeeeeeeEEEOooooo. Get cookin boy!
I ate a whole bag of veggies and I think I might be more hungry than before I ate them. BUT I must loose wait for the tiny outfits we are expected to wear for Greek row.

I think i found pictures of something similar. Except imagine then in either bright green, pink or blue.

TOP: http://www.discountdance.com/dancewear/style_3719.html?pid=4082&Shop=Style&TopCat=TB&cat=HALTERTOP&SID=81391983

BOTTOMS:http://www.discountdance.com/dancewear/style_D1051C.html?pid=4922&Shop=Style&TopCat=TB&cat=SHORTSKORT&SID=81392103

End. Thats it... thats all the clothing.


Naked naked naked nuddy porno porn

En Francais

I changed my blog to French. I don't know if it is going to change everything to french though.

Ok I want to tell you about the crazy ass dream I had:

Me, Leonard and Ryan were in a three way relationship (random, I know) and we were in Musical Theater class when Nate started talking shit about our relationship. He said that "Leonard should know better" and that "the whole thing was disgusting" and Leonard got pissed off, started screaming at Nate and then punched him in the stomach.

Nate then started crying and asking "What happened to our friendship?" and saying "You ruined everything" and then began barfing all over the floor. I took Nate to the bathroom but he was mad at me too and wanted to barf by himself. Nate had a Puerto Rican gang member boyfriend that was there and he was speaking in Spanish, then punched a wall, then stormed out.

Then the day fast forwarded to us three at our house. We had just finished dinner (hummus and some other weird shit) and gotten in bed for a group cuddle. Then Nate's boyfriend comes storming in, screaming at us to get up in Spanish, then he drags Leonard outside. There were a bunch of gang members who wouldn't let me or Ryan outside. The windows and doors were barred up and they were standing out side with Uzis.

Then Nate's gang, balla, boyfriend raped Leo on the sidewalk in front of our house. We couldn't get out side to save him. Then the house decided it had a jet pack and flew away with Ryan and I locked in. Then we were just floating in space and then I woke up.


All in all.... it was really fucking weird.

Gym Me

So Leonard has used his persuasive talents to drag my lazy ass to the gym every morning between 6:30 and 7:00 am.

Granted dragging my carcass from the warm sheets isn't the most pleasant thing to do at 5:00 in the morning but the effects are quite worth it. I am sure it will be even more beneficial if I can find a way to get myself to bed before midnight.

I am hoping that I can stick to this routine through out the semester and hopefully achieve some of my physical and mental goals. I know that when rehearsals get in to full swing for Greek Row it will prove to be very difficult.

For instance my Wednesday schedule:

6:15-7:30 Gym
8:00-5:00 Work
7:00-10:00ish Rehearsal
10:30ish Home, Hungry, Heedful

Rinse... and repeat.

Immediate Goals of the Week : Get Leonard hired, Stay under 1700 calories per day, listen to a new musical, host a (long overdue) Team Awesome night, Get the job teaching dance, finish personal statement TONIGHT.

FRIDAY!

On a scale of 1 to 10 gauging my excitement that it is Friday, I think I am sitting at a 23.

YES YES YES YES YES

It is finally Friday. This was the longest week in history. I actually think there were some bonus hours thrown in just to ensure that this week dragged on.

Also - I am in a great mood because I think I made some decisions.

If I can make my personal statement pretty enough to send it, I think I am going to apply to law school this year. SO now I need to focus on that nonsense and scraping up application money.

I am also excited about Leo and I being gym buddies. Unfortunately he decided on the ass crack of dawn for work out time, but hopefully that will make me actually GO and not procrastinate about it all day. He seems to really like this gym called The Sports Club so I am going to give it a try.

Karaoke last night - I learned that Chris and Celina officially make me nervous as hell. Leo and I sang "Suddenly Seymour", (really smart plan since we both didn't know the song) and Celina had to help me throughout most of the song. They are both just too damn good. If they sucked at something maybe I wouldn't be so nervous.

I am stoked beyond stoked about Saturday night too. I feel like I am turning 21 all over again. We are going downtown! YAY! I haven't been there since my birthday in June and I think I am due for some Anodyne drinks and a bit of booty shaking.

I have optimistic pants on. And they feel nice. I need to remember how comfy they are when I start complaining and whining.

So I am off to do some real work, Giving blood at 3 ish and dinner with Lauren at 5:45.

Yay for Friday!

To make this blog official...

In order to make this blog official, it requires a complain-y, whiny, bitch-fest.

Today already sucks.

I don't know if it is because I popped up on the wrong side of the bed or I just unconsciously decided to have a bad day. First and foremost, I absolutely don't feel like being at work. This job is inconceivably boring and all though I have a huge office all to my self it is lonely back here. I miss being closer to all the legal assistants and talking shit while working. It's like every hour of the day drags on and I find my self staring at the clock waiting for another minute to pass.
It might be better if the "Queen B" jumped off the side of the building and I didn't have to deal with her passive, evil intentions all the time.

Also I haven't had the whole TeamAwesome group together since gift exchange... which is practically a lifetime in Dea world. Maybe that's contributing to my shart-tastic mood.

Another thing - I can't seem to get over not being in the musical. Every time the crew goes off to rehearsal I spend 80% of that time wishing I was there and trying to figure out what I did that prevented me from making the cast. Is it because at the last possible second of the audition I responded "Sure" when asked if I was auditioning for Greek Row? Is it because my voice sucks ass? Is it because it takes me a extra week longer than most people to get my harmony part down? Maybe if I knew I could stop complaining about it.

I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I AM DOING ABOUT LAW SCHOOL. I have turned in to an indecisive, bitchtastic wench with no opinion.

Things that I know:
1) I want to go to law school

Things I don't know:
1) Where to go to law school
2) Where to APPLY for law school
3) If I want to start next fall or wait a year
4) If I want to move out of state
5) When I will finish my Personal Statement


Kind of imbalanced there on the things I know compared to the things I don't know.

I really want to fast foreward to next year... then all this shit will be decided and I wont have to conciously think about it.

Anyone know if this is possible?

So it begins...

Look what I have!

I have a big kid blog. I was going to go back to the livejournal/deadjournal type things but then Elyse showed me this fancy thing called blogger. I guess its what grown-ups use to complain about their daily life.

So welcome to my life.

I am unfortunately at evil work land of Satan right now so I can't be productive in posting. BUT I plan on doing this more often.