The PumpKING is...

Oh my beers, the search is over (for now.) After trying twenty pumpkin beers, the results are in!

RyRy and I set out to find the best pumpkin beer on the market. It seems like every brewery had a newly released, cleverly named pumpkin beer: "Pump My Kin!" "Pumpkin Blumpkin!" "This Beer is Shitty, But You Will Drink It Because We Added 'Pumpkin' to The Title, You Gullible Alcoholic"

After days of dedicated beer drinking, we rated all of the contestants in the following categories:

Flavor: Complex n' delicious or a sugary, watery piss flavored mess?
Aroma: Pumpkin-y? Malty? Nutmeg-y? Cinnamon-y? Nast-y?
Drinkability: Would I want to drink more than one? Essentially the "Smoothness Factor"
ABV: Oh shut up, it's important. Don't judge me.
Overall: Buy it or trash it?

Before anyone gets their panties in a ruffle, I put the hard ciders at the end of the list because of their style, not their taste. Cider obviously can't beat beer in a beer competition, amirite?

To keep things suspenseful, the great pumpkin beer countdown starts at...

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#20 Ace Pumpkin Cider

Flavor: Sweet. More cinnamon spice than pumpkin. 

Aroma: Sugary apple sugarfest

Drinkability: Relatively mild and smooth. 

ABV: 5%

Overall: Meh... the next cider is better...

#19 Woodchuck Pumpkin Cider

Flavor: There is actual pumpkin flavor in it! A dash spicy and less sweet than some of it's counterparts.

Aroma: Pumpkin, spice, and everything nice.

Drinkability: Don't know if I could do more than one or two ciders because of the dessert-esq sweetness. 

ABV: 6.9% - Awesomely boozey. 

Overall: Pretty damn good for a pumpkin (hard) cider. 

 #18  Shock Top Pumpkin Wheat

Flavor: Shitty

Aroma: Shitty

Drinkability: No

ABV: Who cares.

Overall: Just no... I wish I didn't have to put this shitty, shit on the list at all.

#17 Blue Moon Harvest Moon Pumpkin

Flavor: Sweet and... that's about it. 

Aroma: Generic Beer?

Drinkability: Since it is overwhelmingly bland, it would be perfect for Fall beer pong. 

ABV: 5.77%

Overall: Would be an Ok "crowd pleaser." Nothing overly offensive, but certainly not memorable. 

#16 Buffalo Bills America's Original Pumpkin Beer

Flavor: A hint of pumpkin-esq flavor... but mostly cinnamon water with a splash of generic gourd.

Aroma: Molasses and All Spice

Drinkability: I've had worse. If MGD 64 made a pumpkin beer option, it would taste like this (aka even 64 calories doesn't really make this beer worth the time or effort) 

ABV: 5.2%

Overall: BUT it's America's Original Pumpkin Beer!!! ... or something. The light, watery, vegetable-y flavor outweighs the bragging rights that come with being America's original pumpkin beer. 

#15 Shipyard Pumpkinhead 

Flavor: The only reason why this one didn't land on the bottom is because there was an actual (faint) pumpkin flavor. 

Aroma: Wheaty with a dash of nutmeg and a splash of soap. 

Drinkability: Better than a Coors Light, but worse than a most other beers. 

ABV: 5.1%

Overall: I know quite a few folks who recommended this beer. I guess it was tolerable, but compared to all the others, it wasn't that great. It would be a great pumpkin beer for Halloween in Hawaii.

#14 Hoppin Frog Double Pumpkin Ale

Flavor:  Moderately sweet, mildly bitter. Lighter than expected.

Aroma: Clove, malt, cinnamon, nutmeg...  A fellow co-worker would describe it as "Fall as Fuck."

Drinkability: With a high(ish) ABV and its light amber body, I would give it a thumbs up for drinkability. 

ABV: 8.4%

Overall: This is the first beer of the bunch that was really enjoyable. The reason why it landed itself on the lower half of the list is because it didn't taste like pumpkin. It absolutely tasted like Fall (and even a bit like coffee) but it was pretty pumpkin-free for being "double" pumpkin. 

#13 Cisco's Pumple Drumkin

Flavor: A little hoppy, a little malty, a little sweet, a lot fake.

Aroma: Fake pumpkin scent. Imagine a Walmart brand pumpkin herbal, beer tea. 

Drinkability: One is good enough. I can only stand so much liquid potpourri in my mouth. 

ABV: 6.88%

Overall: At least this beer has a decent booze kick. Otherwise it would be lower on the list. I did like the earthiness of this beer. Less light and fluffy than some of the others. 

#12 Saranac Pumpkin Ale

Flavor: Sweet n' full of cinnamon. 

Aroma: Moderately pumpkin "scented." Not real pumpkin. More like a pumpkin candle. 

Drinkability: Totes. 

ABV: 5.4%

Overall: This is another recommended beer. The sweetness factor (without being "balls-y") earns this beer a spot with the other Halloween n' Hawaii beer. If I could fuse summer and pumpkin, this would be it. I like my pumpkin beers to bee more Fall-esq. If I wanted an orange wheat beer, I would buy one.

#11 Lakefront Pumpkin Lager

Flavor: Light, but pleasantly full of pumpkin pie spice. 

Aroma: Mildly sweet. Notes of nutmeg, cinnamon and cardamom.  Smells like Thanksgiving. 

Drinkability: Surprisingly tasty for a lager style pumpkin beer. More please!

ABV: 5.42%

Overall: This was my favorite light pumpkin beer. Sweet, spice and everything nice. On a technical level, I know that creating a solid lager is more difficult that making an over-hopped IPA or a malt-tastic brown. Everything in this beer was extremely balanced. 

#10 Sam Adams Harvest Pumpkin Ale

Flavor: Ginger, allspice, and a smooth pumpkin flavor. Medium sweetness. 

Aroma: Pumpkin Pie liquified in to beer. 

Drinkability: Definitely a two-fer, but probably too sweet for much more. 

ABV: 5.7%

Overall: Well, hot diggity damn. This is likely my favorite Sam Adams beer. I'm not a big Sam Fan, but they certainly stepped it up a notch for their pumpkin ale. (WAY better than their fall crap ale. It tasted like wet leaves.)

#9 Uinta Punk'n 

Flavor: Generic root vegetable flavor. More similar to carrot cake than pumpkin pie. Gingery.

Aroma: More spice than pumpkin. Light. Crisp. Nothing too overwhelming

Drinkability: Sure. I could have one, or two, or five. 

ABV: 4%

Overall: Stuff tastes pretty dang good. Just doesn't taste overwhelmingly like pumpkin. 

#8 Dogfish Head Punkin Ale

Flavor: Sweet. All the pumpkin spice flavors, but more dessert-y. 

Aroma: Carmel, malt, pumpkin, spice and even a splash o' coffee. 

Drinkability: One and done. Cool weather warmer and dessert all in one. 

ABV: 7%

Overall: Spiced brown ale with extra sweetness. Decent dessert replacement. If there was a beer version of the Pumpkin Spice Latte, this would be it. 

#7 Tommyknocker Pumpkin 

Flavor: Actually tastes like pumpkin. Pumpkin flesh bits. Smells like the moment you start carving a pumpkin fused with a jar of molasses. 

Aroma: Lightly sweet, lightly spicy. Balanced. 

Drinkability: The drinkability definitely moved this gem up the list. The balanced flavor/aroma makes this beer great for a fall dinner side-kick, happy hour, or Sunday Funday. Drink up. 

ABV: 5%

Overall: Starts better than it finishes, but it certainly grows on you. Its versatility is the best part. 

#6 Sam Adams Fat Jack Double Pumpkin

Flavor: PUMPKIN-A-THON. All the flavors of the great pumpkin ales with less sticky sweetness.

Aroma: All the classic pumpkin spices and all the classic fall scents. 

Drinkability: One big boy and you're set. 

ABV: 8.5%

Overall: Sam Adams makes another appearance on the list. Mildly sweet, big pumpkin flavors, and boozy to boot. Damn good stuff. Additionally, the sweet bottle art gives this beer some bonus points.

     TOP FIVE!!    

#5 Elysian Night Owl Pumpkin Ale

Flavor: Sweet pumpkiny goodness. 

Aroma: Pumpkin, carmel, malt, and happiness. 

Drinkability: Take one down, pass it around... NO. I'm not sharing and I'm taking yours. 

ABV: 5.9%

Overall: Many pumpkin beers end up masking the pumpkin with all of the pumpkin spices. The mild spice factor actually made the pumpkin flavors more noticeable.  

#4 Avery Rumpkin

Flavor: Sugary, malty syrup fused with pumpkin pie and rum.  

Aroma: ALCOHOL. With some oak, pumpkin, allspice, and other fall scents. 

Drinkability: Half a beer (at most). Super sweet. 

ABV: 18.1% (This is not a typo... this is practically pumpkin wine)

Overall: This bitch is aged in rum barrels for six months. It's more boozy than a glass of red wine. It smells like a classy bum's breath after a Thanksgiving meal. Even though I think Avery, as per usual, over did the ABV for beer, this shit is DELICIOUS. 

#3 Upslope Pumpkin Ale

Flavor: Less sweet, more spice n' pumpkin. 

Aroma: Carmel, brown sugar, pumpkin spice...  (I wish I had a recipe for pumpkin beer pie.)

Drinkability: The biggie cans give it extra drinkability points. Pack that pumpkin beer To. Go. 

ABV: 7.7%

Overall: Last year, this was my unoficial numero uno by a billion percent. I think a bit of the pumpkin deliciousness got lost when they altered the recipe for canning. That being said, I love Upslope, I love their pumpkin beer, and I love their sweet ass biggie cans. 

#2  Jolly Pumpkin La Parcela

I (clearly) didn't take this photo. "Borrowed" it from the internet 'cus I forgot to take one. 

Flavor: Lil' hoppy, pumpkin, lemon, tart n' malty at the same time. (How do they do it??)

Aroma: Malty, tart, sour, pumpkin, cinnamon, winning.

Drinkability: I don't know... It tastes relatively light, but also unique.

ABV: 5.9%

Overall: Not your traditional pumpkin beer, but it is amaze-balls. It's a mildly sour ale, but still has a strong punch of spice and pumpkin. Plus, the brewery is "Jolly Pumpkin" and, although they've been around for a while (try the Rioja), this is the first year they made a pumpkin brew. Brilliant. 

#1  Elysian The Great Pumpkin Imperial Ale

Flavor: Big pumpkin flavor mixed with all the fancy fall spices, dark carmel, pepper, and a bit of hop.

Aroma: Cinnamon, nutmeg, clove. Spicy sweet goodness. 

Drinkability: All of it. Everything. 

ABV: 8.1%

Overall: This was the first Imperial pumpkin ale on the market. I am happy to report; they fucking nailed it. Elysian brewery has a couple GABF winners, and this is one of them. This recipe balances all the main requirements for a tasty pumpkin beer: Sweet, but not Aunt Jemimah syrup sweet. Spicy, but not a liquid spice rack. Most of all, real pumpkin aroma and flavor. I hate beer that's similar to chugging the wax of a"Autumn Harvest" candle. 

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Well that's it folks.... 

Go forth and get tanked on boozy gourds.